she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
