is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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