You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
