escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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