Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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