he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize