somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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