we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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