she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
