i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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