Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
