she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize