oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I need to sanitize my soul.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
