I feel like I'm in dance class right now
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
