I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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