McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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