I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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