just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
