Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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