Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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