i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
This is classic penis vs brain.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Randomize
