One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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