apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
nutella sex= disaster
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
