I haven't been this sober since birth.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
