Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
