its not stalking. its research.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
