physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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