just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
