I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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