I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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