Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize