We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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