I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The air was thick with penises
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
