babies were throwing up all over the place
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
