Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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