I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I forget how to act sober
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize