Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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