I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
