what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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