apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
