so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
