You smell like a Billy Joel song
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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