If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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