very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize
