I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
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I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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