Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
What a dumb baby whore.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
