I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
