the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
