she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize