Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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