I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
