Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
