I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
