i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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