He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
40s are totally the cure
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
