Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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