you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
