so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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