I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
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As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
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there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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