I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
North Korea, Best Korea!
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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