He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
